Tuesday, 29 November 2016

Do I remember anything?






Yes, I do. 

I remember the first conversation. I remember exactly how did we become friends. I remember the shyness, the anger, the first song; I remember the bullying, the silly fights. I remember how our busy schedules spoiled our moods. I remember how my emotions were always heightened. I remember feeling new things, I remember feeling desperate for late night conversations. I remember feeling happy and I remember feeling lucky.

I remember not looking into your eyes because I feared you knowing the truth behind my frown. I remember not letting you know how important your whereabouts were to me, to not make you feel tied up to me.

I remember things.

I remember the energy, I experienced when I was with you. I remember the force with which I had to hold myself back from touching you. I remember the brief touch and the energy that passed through me. I remember craving for more.

I remember you taking care of me. I remember you worrying for me. I remember you telling others that I was special for you. I remember you mocking my make up face, and appreciating my nude face. I remember you taking care of ‘drunk me’. I remember you promising me- to be different than the rest.

I remember things.

I remember you leaving – abruptly. I remember you lying to me- right in my face. I remember seeing you with her. I remember you lying to me- for her. I remember cutting your calls because I couldn’t have spoken to you otherwise. I remember you apologizing. I remember forgiving you. I remember you leaving again. I remember you cutting my call acting as if you were busy. I remember you fading away.



I remember being torn apart, I remember being shredded into pieces, I remember feeling dead after you left; again

I remember things.

I remember feeling broken and numb. I remember trying not to feel anything because if I did, I knew I’d never get back together. I remember picking myself up again without you, without the glue that you promised me, without the support you said I’d never miss on.

I remember things.

I remember forgiving you. I have forgiven you. Not because you deserve to be forgiven – but because I need to move on. Because I have to forgive you to forgive myself. Trust me when I say that I forgive you but will never forget you. 

I remember you and will always do. 










Thursday, 18 August 2016

World Independence Day ?

India celebrated its 70th Independence Day with great flair and grandeur. I, being away from my country, celebrated it with almost equal grandeur and that is the beauty of our country. 
India - Bhārat - Hindustan is a country where every one has a place to live. You can be a Tamilian, you can be a Kashmiri, a Maharashtrian, a Mallu, Punjabi or Gujju or speak Nephamese, Manipuri or Hindi. With more than 1650 dialects and 22 official languages - we have it all. 

If I start to write about India as a country - this post may just not end. Lately, there have been serious concerns with the condition in Kashmir and since I have not read extensively about Kashmir and Pakistan occupied Kashmir, I would refrain from commenting on the same. 

As an everyday routine, I was scrolling through my Facebook News Feed with half closed eyes, updating myself with what's going on around the world and my friends, of course. It was a proud moment to read about Sakshi Malik, first Indian woman to get a medal this year after splendid efforts by other athletes. It was disheartening and saddening to read about the unfortunate injury of Vinesh Phogat who succumbed to her injuries and was visibly in deep agony. 

Moving forward, to good news, Salman Khan announced awarding Rs. 1,01,000/- to each Olympic athlete and finally,  reading Sehwag's congratulatory tweet for Sakshi was a funny thing to read early morning. 

For those who missed out the battle of comments between Sehwag and Shobha De - here's a 'LINK'  which will give you a detailed account of what happened between the two. 




And then, I saw this - Do not click if you're faint hearted


The video shows the boy being carried out of a damaged building by a medic and then placed on a seat in the back of an ambulance, covered in dust and with a blood-covered face.

Fighting between Syrian government forces, backed by Russian air strikes, and rebels have escalated in Aleppo in recent weeks. Aleppo, is a city split down the middle and the scene of some of the fiercest fighting in the civil war that’s been tearing Syria apart for more than five years now.






Courtesy: Independent.co.uk


Courtesy: ibtimes.co.uk



On the western side, it’s held by the government. The eastern side, where Omran lives, has been held by rebels. It has been under siege, subject to constant bombardment from Russian warplanes supporting President Bashar al-Assad, under the guise of “fighting terrorism”.





Courtesy: ibtimes.co.uk


Probably, the child's video is the most horrifying thing that I have ever watched in my life. It gave me chills and has left me disturbed. I don't usually get affected by terror videos to this extent; but this one, was heartbreaking. Unable to concentrate further, I couldn't forget about the boy who has been identified as Omran, a 5-year-old child I decided to read if the child was alright.



5 - year - old. Is that an age where a child should wipe 'blood' off his hands only to make it clean?



Thankfully, his mother father and a brother were safely rescued from the building, which collapsed a few moments later. Omran with his scared eyes, not knowing where to go and what to do will make you think about the deplorable condition there. Unfortunately, the physical marks may fade away, but how will his mind forget the blood stained hands? 


Courtesy: Independent.co.uk 


I can only pray and wish for the best for his countrymen. With India celebrating its 70th Independence, I hope that this boy and other children get to celebrate theirs.


I do not have enough courage to use the haunted pictures of the child, for this post. As I write this post, the UN  secretary has called for a 48-hour pause in Aleppo as a gesture of humanity from both sides. President Bashar al-Assad’s forces and his Russian allies say they are targeting “terrorists” but humanitarian groups have reported hundreds of civilian deaths. I am not sure what good it would do, but I sincerely hope that the helpless civilians survive the terrorism wrath safely. 











Sunday, 24 July 2016

Being lucky

The post is owed to someone who I had a good discussion with, very recently.
Talking to this person about 'being lucky' made me realize that it's not a bad thing at all. Being lucky, in fact, is something great. I have always believed in luck, fate, destiny, karma. I never denied being lucky myself but never understood why some people cannot take it - when they're called 'lucky'. Therefore, had a discussion with a friend and hence, the post.

Well..

I don't have any shame to admit that I have been a fortunate child. Fortunate in every sense - family, friends, love, career.

I may not be on a hill's top with respect to my career right now. I may not have the best car in the world or the best phone or the best house. But, does it matter?

I know people are struggling every day to be where I am right now. It doesn't make me feel happy, but it does make me realize how fortunate I am. I end up pondering over the fact how different my life would have been, had I not been this fortunate. I believe in God. I believe in Karma. I believe in everything that's 'old-school'.

Some people have a problem with calling themselves 'lucky'. Understandable.

I understand why people find it difficult to accept that they are lucky, because if you're lucky- you get it all easy - that's what people tend to think, generally. It misplaces the credit which one deserves. What people miss, unfortunately, is that nothing comes easy. The harder you work - the luckier you get.



I got admission into a decent university. Lucky, eh? Well, no. It was hard work.

I attribute it to my parent's hard work who managed to convince a child like me to apply and then go out to study. My friends who supported me throughout the journey of the strenuous application process. They believed in me when I didn't even imagine myself to get selected. It was my family who helped me sail through the time and work hard on the application. I am fortunate, I agree. But, I wouldn't let my parents and friend's hard work to go to waste like that because they did work hard. I am fortunate to have them in my life. I am blessed to have them in my life.

I am lucky in my love life to not fall prey to fake promises and lies. I am fortunate enough to not be dependent on someone except my parents and friends. At times, I feel lonely - I'm human, after all! But, deep inside I know that I am fortunate to not need any one person to support me - in every sense whatsoever! Although, I support everyone who has someone in their life. They're fortunate as well if they feel so.

Some people never feel happy. They're upset if they don't have an iPhone, upset if they cannot have a car, upset if they do not get to study abroad. Phew! Aspirations are good- but they don't define you. I cannot be judged on the fact that I don't aspire to settle overseas. I cannot be judged for not having the same dreams as any other student would have - at my age. I know I will achieve what's mine - in time. If I deserve it - I will get it. 

Honestly, I feel that everyone is lucky if they wish to look at it that way. People who feel that they're unlucky and not fortunate enough to get what they want- maybe they didn't deserve it. Maybe they wouldn't know how to handle something - if they get it. Maybe, they have something better in store for them. God has a plan, always. 


I only want to thank God- to bless me with all that I have in my life. I know everything that I have or will have is all because of him. I will accept and be thankful for everything and everyone that I will be blessed with.


This post might have been really boring and I'm not sure if it did make sense but I had a good discussion with someone who made me realize that being lucky is not a bad thing. In fact, it is lucky to be lucky! Not everyone gets to be where they want to be or want to have. Not everyone love where, and what they are. If everyone could be lucky, why wouldn't they be?



I would any day choose to be called 'fortunate' because I am grateful for everything and everyone that I have. I feel blessed and happy and content.

I am fortunate and happy to be called one !

Chalo, bahut hua :D

More later :)

Saturday, 5 March 2016

Love is a beautiful thing.

Love breaks you, shreds you and your heart into pieces. It kills you. It rips your soul apart.
Yet, it consumes you and it empowers you.

You don't want anything except that one person in the whole wide world. You feel drained and yet entrenched in happiness.
You want to go away from the pain but you know it makes you stronger.

You wish you could end it, sometimes, but love equals hope. It equals future.

Love is a beautiful thing. You wish for it and when you get it, if true, you would never want to let it go away. Love will grow you help you explore new dimensions of your personality. Parts of your soul, that you never knew existed.

You would want to get naked - not just physically, but mentally and emotionally.
You would want to bare your secrets and your hidden dreams and thoughts shamelessly.

Love takes away the shame, the judgemental attitude, the facade, the glass wall and, the distance and the boundaries that you have created around yourself. It frees you from your cage of fear and sadness. Love will shatter that wall and help you see the world.

Love is not a boundary, it is the horizon.
Love is not just commitment, its faith and its loyalty.
Love doesn't confine you, it frees you.


Love is a beautiful thing.