Saturday, 25 October 2014

Fortunate or Unfortunate..

India just lights up on Diwali! There is a certain kind of happiness you feel when you see a happy kid burning crackers. I love this festival.. Also because it comes around my birthday :P

Bhai Dooj(just like Rakhi) is another festival which is celebrated right after Diwali. Not my favourite, at all.
It may sound weird to some but for me- One of the most enviable moments is to see siblings fighting.
Throughout their lives, all people wish for- is to get away from their over protective brothers or over enthusiastic sister. Little do they realise that it's a blessing to have a real brother/sister.
Parents' attention may be divided but their love and affection isn't.

My friends celebrated Bhai Dooj happily. Little one's were happy to get chocolates while older ones were glad to push some money out of their brothers wallet.
I, on the other hand, didn't have the luxury.

It felt lonely and sad. Don't judge me, but I hated to hear what my friends did during the day. For the first time in my life, I didn't want to relate to their experience. I felt disconnected. It made me feel even more lonely. I didn't show it to them,of course.
Lying on the bed awake for hours made me realise one thing that we all want something.. That One Something.. That we can never get.
That is all life is about. Wanting and Wishing. 

My friends wish they were a single child like me. I try to tell them it's a curse. They say it's luck.

They want a life full of freedom and undivided attention from parents while I wish that my parents had someone other than me, to fulfil their hopes and their desires.
I wish I had a protective brother asking me not to roam around late at night. I wish I had a sibling who I could protect and fight with.

But, don't we all have desire/s that can never be fulfilled. Something that doesn't come on our terms.
I know there is nothing I can do to change the kind of situation that I am in. I just wish that there was.
Life is nothing what we want it to be like. But my parents have taught me to Thank God everyday for all that I have. Half the world doesn't have the luxuries that I have- Food, Parents and healthy body.


So today, I wish God spreads happiness and luxuries to those who need them the most.

Happy Diwali to all :)

May God bless you all with all the prosperity and happiness in the world :)

Monday, 20 October 2014

Everything That Is Not said.

Secrets cripples a relationship. I think everyone has stories that the world will never know. Everyone has stories that their husband/wife/sister/parents will never know. 

We all gradually take lessons and learn to keep some things to ourselves. The world is judgmental and unforgiving. Some things are better left unsaid.

But what about keeping other's secrets? I have been told innumerable times that I can handle secrets like no other. In fact, while I write this, I realize that I don't know anyone who I trust enough to keep my secrets. I don't blame them. Not everyone can handle secrets.. at least when it comes to others'. Most of the people I have come across aren't really good at keeping secrets.

Personally, I am a pot hole(in a good way). If you'll tell me a secret, you might mistakenly tell it to someone, but I won't. I will take it to my grave.
Sometimes I blame all those secrets for my belly fat. ;-)

I have gotten into serious fights with my best-friends who think I betrayed our friendship by not telling the secrets that we know.(we share everything that happens in our lives- everything). I tell them almost everything about me but other's secrets aren't mine to tell.

Occasionally, I get into serious problems for keeping secrets from my best-friends. I can tell them everything that's mine but if somebody trusts me with their secrets- I take it seriously. As long as the secret isn't saving a life, I wouldn't mention it.

My friends regularly tell me that I keep a lot of secrets. Well, yes I do. It's not because I have a problem with them knowing my secrets; I have a problem when that personal fact reaches the world. 

I wish I could find someone who can keep secrets like I can. It would be a utopia. Don't get me wrong, I hate having secrets in a relationship. I detest it from the bottom of my heart, but if the other person cant keep his lips joined, then they don't have the right to know secrets.

I have even been through situations when there are two people lying to each other right in front of me and I have to stay shut while they give each other white lies. It scares me but also makes me feel good about myself. 

Like, If I start to tell secrets that I know, at least 4-5 strong relationships (as they claim it to be) will break instantly.
But, why would I do that? Those friends whose secrets I have been keeping.. have not really kept my secrets. A few of them intentionally blurt out secrets. That's their idea of Revenge. I don't do that. I can't do that. Sometimes I wish I had the power to give them a dose of their own medicine - but I can't. Thank God for that.

I have also had friends who don't pause for a second before blurting out someone's personal illness after they fight with them. Seriously? Where's your integrity?

Secrets make relationships faulty but some secrets are better left unspoken. Or may be they can make a relationship stronger than it already is.


For now I am off to fill the pot hole :P

What do you think? Is it better to keep secrets in a relationship? A secret.. big enough to end it.