Saturday, 20 September 2014

Whose fault is it?

A friend of mine has been grounded forever. She wil never be able to go outside without her parents permission; which means Never.

No. I am not exaggerating.
What was her fault? You decide...

She and I have been friends since a few years now. It wouldn't be wrong is I say that she is one of most liveliest persons that one can ever know- full of energy- sometimes too much of it! She laughes in awkward situations. Is there a term for it? Because I have the problem too. I mean, I mind serious stuff amusing and hilarious. It has caused serious embarrassment to my parents :p Anyway, so she is one of those who you will never find upset. She will either be ecstatic or she will be furious. She doesn't do anything in the middle.

Last year she met this guy at her coaching (Hold your Horses! And read! It's not a love story!). He was the topper and she was the one who everyone knew about. They became friends and one day the guy proposed. She found that funny too Btw! 

I was the one who she comes up for advice. So I know the situation in and out.

Her parents are one of those strict type parents. She wants wings they want feet. 
And by strict, I don't mean - 'study and dont go out so much'
By strict I mean- Wake up. Eat. Study. Help mother or go to school. Study. Eat. Sleep. And Repeat. 

When our group of girls used to go out in school - movies, cafes, roam around etc-she stayed at home. School ended. She was never allowed to go for a movie with any of her friends (boys are nowhere in the picture btw)

Imagine a 17year old girl watching all sorts of movies with her Parents? No offence, but it is weird to sit in a movie hall with parents. God bless if it is a Bhatt film!

College was going to end and she still wasn't allowed to go out for movies. Occasionally she would be allowed to meet our gang provided there were no boys and that we picked and dropped her at her place. She had drivers and card but Perhaps her mother/brother wanted to meet the people who she was having coffee with. Too much, already?
Wait. There's more! 

Her brother who is two years older to her was allowed to go out, roam around with a deadline. The deadline was midnight.
*Thunderous clap for her parents please*

Okay, so this coaching was a new experience for her. She made a lot of friends but this guy was special. He was the topper at the coaching center smitten by my friend completely. 
He asked her out. My friend refused knowing what her family was like. He persisted to stay friends at least. She agreed. 

What do friends do? They don't got to  coaching and study and return.
Peer pressure finally got into her and she bunked her class to go out for a movie with two guys and another friend of hers.

It was the best day for her. She had never felt so happy and so free.
What do you expect from someone who had never gone out with friends? Never been in a movie hall with friends? She lived every bit of it.
She didn't stop. She couldn't.

But, it had to end one day. And it did. Her brother saw her in a car driving around with two guys and another girl. They assumed she was in a relationship with a guy.
She was hit. She was slapped. She was not sent to coaching ever again. She was     not allowed to talk to anyone for another 6 months. It was like she didn't exist.
 
She now goes to a college which is 20 metres away from her house; often gaurded by her sister or brother.

This incident happened almost two years ago. I got to meet her after 8 months after he incident.
To my surprise she still hasn't changed. She is still the same old friend who loves- or may be lives -to laugh, she hasn't lost her charm and her happiness. 
If you meet her you will ever know that she is going through so much. But I know. I have seen her cry. Its saddens me but what can I do to ? 

Her parents have refused to allow her to go for a job. They want her to complete her education and just get her married.

Marraige is the solution for a spoilt child. 

Some people swear by it. 
I dont know who should I blame here? Sometimes I feel guilty to not warn her and not tell her parents that she was bunking her classes. 

But why can't parents not understand the little fact that a kid needs to go out with friends too. They cant be just asked to sit inside a locked room and study and not make friends.

Would my friend ever bunk any class if she was allowed to go out with her school friends before?  NO. 

Why can't parents accept their fault for being so stuck and adamant? 
What her parents are doing to her will never be the solution. It only leads to frustration and anger and disrespect. 

I just hope that one day my friend gets to live a life that she wants to- Free of rules.


Ps- My parents are just amazing. I love them and respect them. They are one of the most understanding people and friends that I have. 

Do share what do you think? Who's fault is it? 
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