Tuesday, 2 September 2014

Repercussions of being a single child.

My friend was blabbering about how sick she was of her older brother being so protective and insecure for her. I told her it can't be too bad.
"What do you know?"

She was right. how would I know having a protective hand over me, having someone to pour my heart to in the night, having a mediator to convey all my stories to my parents, to take care of. I am an only child after all.
Thought of sharing some repercussions of being a single child. It's difficult being one. Trust me.

Rakhi doesnt mean anything to you- Rakhi was celebrated with all bells and drums a few days back. But how much did it mean to me? None. I didn't feel the same love and affection as my friends did. Rakhi is just like another holiday for me when i can sit and chill ! Of course i have cousins who i meet on rakhi and tie a knot. You can judge me all you want but i miss having a real brother.  Some of my girlfriends with over protective brothers tell me how lucky I am, but they will never realize the pain of not having a 'no-matter-what'  protective hand over oneself.They don't realize how lonely it is sometimes to not have a sibling or someone older to you. I miss the satisfaction you get when you bully your sibling and kick his ass for no reason; the warmth you receive from your elder sister/brother when you're low!

You cant handle being ignored- initially i thought i was a bitch who needed attention all the time. But thankfully, it isn't just me. I have observed a few single kids on the block and realised that all our lives we have been used to prioritisation, so much, that being ignored becomes a sin. I try not to gain attention but it becomes difficult for me, sometimes, to handle benign ignorance from my friends. I want to be a part of everything that is happening around me(obviously, only what concerns me). I can't handle being brushed over. It's with almost every 'only' child I have come across.

You should be heard first- Being a single child, all my wishes have been fulfilled. All my tantrums, all my affairs have been treated like a queen's wishes. This has made me impatient and theatrical(some say so). I get upset when I am refused something. As a child, as my mother tells me, I was a difficult child to handle. If I put  my eyes on something, i wanted it. But thankfully, I grew out of it. Fortunately, I had quite a lot of cousins so even after being an only child to my parents, I was not a single child to my family and sharing and caring for siblings came in me gradually.

You want to be acknowledged: Well yeah. I crave hard, really hard, for acknowledgement. Don't take it as fishing for compliments. I don't want a 'thank you' gesture or a 'token of appreciation'. Having said that, it pisses me off to another level if I am not acknowledged for what I did. Like if I help you to get a ticket. And incase someone rants about difficulty in getting a ticket, I expect you to mention me here. I'm not sure if it's right or wrong? Because, hey one always deserves acknowledgement. I mean, if you even tried to help me( it may or may not have helped me) you would always find me mentioning your name. To an extent that people tell me to stop thanking them for something trivial. 'People who feel appreciated will always try to do better for you. Always'

You want to know things before anyone else: Being a single child, anything that happens anywhere in the world, to anybody in the universe, your parents share it with you- first. You're one of the(read: only) important pillars of the family so yes end up being asked for opinions, for advice and you're the only one to know anything remote that happens in the near distant family. So among your friends, you end up being sad if you're not put first. When it comes to me, it saddens me to know something late. I feel dejected if I am told something on the second, and not first! 

You're lonely sometimes: True. Because you don't have anybody close to share your thoughts with. Your friends are either working or busy or fighting with their brother/sisters. So yes even if you have a best-friend who would sacrifice his life for you, who is there for you always, there comes a time when you're out there..all alone. I find myself in this situation quite often. I feel scared and lonely and alone to wait for replies from friends, to get a call back from friends. But, it happens. It happens to all of us at some point in time. The positive is that I get a lot of time to introspect and to know myself better. Also i have realised that I am emotionally stronger than my friends. I can deal with emotions better and don't lose control so often. It is because Quite often I end up dealing with my own emotions alone. I don't want to, but I have to.

You're always there for your friends.: You know how it feels to be lonely and have no one around plus you have that tad bit of better experience dealing with emotions better so you try to be available for your friends all the time. I think, it is because we consider our friends our near family.

I consider my friends as my family and try to build relationships with them. It doesn't work all the time, though. Single child's also are more attached to their parents than other kids, I think. to be frank, I don't know if it's with me or other people too, but I feel, a certain sense of responsibility(too much of it) for my parents. I feel like there's no way that I can fail them. Everything I do, makes me wonder if my parents will be happy about it? The mere idea of betraying or leaving them makes me sick in the stomach. I am not sure, though, if it's just me or everyone?

What do you think?


Red Handed said...

I was all of this until I was 8yrs old..then I got a baby brother.

Life Happens said...

Lucky you! :) Peoplegeneralky undervalue the support they get from brothers/sisters.