Friday, 5 September 2014

Relationships and you.

It is unfortunate how relationships die without a clear reason. All relationshps are beautiful. Mother-child; friends; parents; love. It is important to keep hanging on. Especially in a fragile world like this, it is important to hold on to old friendships,relationships and family. With Facebook and other sites which claim to help u stay connected to your loved ones, it has now become impossible to keep the spark alive in a relationship. 
Agree or not, it is difficult to stay connected once someone moves into a new life and/or starts a new career. All the promises to stay connected go into the dustbin. With whatsapp fb handy, it becomes hard to manage the newly gained relationships and the old golden ones. I am not saying that it is impossible to stay in touch. I only mean that it is not that easy. Best friends are not our neighbours anymore.

Some people assert that with Whats app anybody can stay connected from any part of the globe. But, is it that easy? Not in my case, at least.

Who would take into account the time difference, the cultural difference that comes alive and the new friends and new life. All this may not be the sole reason to allow old relations to fade away but surely act as a catalyst. 
So how do we make sure to keep relationships alive? 

First and the most important thing is to Be clear with what you want
We scream, we get pissed, we blame and find reasons and excuses for our ignorance- but actually, we want to get rid of old friendships/relationships. It may not seem the right thing to do but it is better to let go instead of holding on to a hollow relationship. 

Be strong- It is alright to say no and have priorities changed. We should never feel guilty for growing up. It is alright to grow out of a relationships because it is who we are. What we like at the age of 5 may not necessarily match our choices at 16. All we need is a clear mind because right up there is all the 'locha'.(trouble)

Fight it out- Yes. I have seen this work a million times(okay! Less than that-you get the point :p) so, arguements and fighting are the front wheels in a relationship. If you don't argue with your friend/partner, the relationship is already dead. It's long gone. 

Make choices- Surely there will be times when we need to decide between the past and the present. What to choose then- it's up to you. 
For instance- you're getting ready for a party and you get a call from old friend after she/he had a break up. What do you do? Skip the party and console her cuz she has always been there for you- or- just move on with the party. She can be dealt with tomorrow. 

Difficult choices will come your way every day. What do you do in a situation like this? I personally would have skipped the party if it were for a close friend of mine. 

Keep the expectation bar low- this is something that has been said time and again. But I find it difficult to gulp down. I mean, if I am there for one person day and night, why shouldn't I expect the same in return? It has happened to me quite a few times which Leads me to think that I expect too much from people. I do understand all the glory behind being busy but 'time' is the same for everyone. I skip and I ignore a few things when it comes to being there for my friends. So yes, call me unreasonable but I have the right to expect.
Oops what were we talking about? 
Keep expectations low. It will help surely. Well, I? I am working on it. I am not perfect. No one is.

Forgive: this is the most important part to keep a relationship strong. In fact if you have the power to forgive, you can carry a relationship single handedly. It is sometimes absolutely impossible to forgive and forget, but remember- no relationship is perfect. Relationship has to be carried forward with maturity and most of the times you have to be the bigger person and forgive. For me - Work in progress :P 

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