Wednesday, 5 November 2014

Life is what you make of it.

What is life?
It is a debatable question. A debate with not just two, or three opinions. A million ones- none of which can be termed as Wrong!

Life is not a practical or a test or a code that applies to all similar problems. It is in fact an alphabet, a letter that can be used in a gazillion words, in a million ways.
It is something that we need to figure out and deal with - alone. If there's someone besides you to tread along- Call yourself Lucky!

However glim and bleak life appears to be, however dark past has been,however difficult circumstances are posing to be- there is always Hope.
Hang on to that.

You will see things that you are not supposed to.You will hear things that were not meant for you. You will have to deal with all.
You will loose loved ones and best friends- who you made your future plans with. You will be forgotten by those who you could have died for. You will be betrayed, hurt and chosen second.
You will be bitched about and hurt repeatedly. You will loose friends. You will make enemies. You will fail and fail miserably. You will go to the bottom and spiral downwards. Everything.
But you will live. No matter what.

And that is what matters in the end. It is the only thing that matters.
Life will be a bitch; a dog and a Pig.
But you will rise above it all. You will forgive what and forget the past. Learn how to cope with enemies. Learn how to hit back. Learn how to get up and shine - again.

Why? Because that is what life is for.  It will be a beautiful thing, in the end.
So... Get down and rise. Repeat.

So hang on to the tiny bit of hope that is buried underneath the pain, hatred and rejection.
Hang on to that little, tiny minuscule bit of positivity and hope and rise up.
Life is a journey of pain and love. Equal share of both. So, even if pain is all you can see miles ahead- remember- every cloud has a silver lining.

Do you best and do good. It will come back and in ways you would have never thought.
So suck it up. Go out and challenge the difficulties ahead of you. Get up and show how it is done. Remember- there is always a way out- a light at the end of every tunnel.

I dont know why did I write this post. Call it an answer to all the games that life has played with me.
So here's to life- I am not going anywhere. I am here and will be here- fighting for my share of happiness :D 

Happy November to all !! :)
May this month bring all the happiness you deserve :D

Saturday, 25 October 2014

Fortunate or Unfortunate..

India just lights up on Diwali! There is a certain kind of happiness you feel when you see a happy kid burning crackers. I love this festival.. Also because it comes around my birthday :P

Bhai Dooj(just like Rakhi) is another festival which is celebrated right after Diwali. Not my favourite, at all.
It may sound weird to some but for me- One of the most enviable moments is to see siblings fighting.
Throughout their lives, all people wish for- is to get away from their over protective brothers or over enthusiastic sister. Little do they realise that it's a blessing to have a real brother/sister.
Parents' attention may be divided but their love and affection isn't.

My friends celebrated Bhai Dooj happily. Little one's were happy to get chocolates while older ones were glad to push some money out of their brothers wallet.
I, on the other hand, didn't have the luxury.

It felt lonely and sad. Don't judge me, but I hated to hear what my friends did during the day. For the first time in my life, I didn't want to relate to their experience. I felt disconnected. It made me feel even more lonely. I didn't show it to them,of course.
Lying on the bed awake for hours made me realise one thing that we all want something.. That One Something.. That we can never get.
That is all life is about. Wanting and Wishing. 

My friends wish they were a single child like me. I try to tell them it's a curse. They say it's luck.

They want a life full of freedom and undivided attention from parents while I wish that my parents had someone other than me, to fulfil their hopes and their desires.
I wish I had a protective brother asking me not to roam around late at night. I wish I had a sibling who I could protect and fight with.

But, don't we all have desire/s that can never be fulfilled. Something that doesn't come on our terms.
I know there is nothing I can do to change the kind of situation that I am in. I just wish that there was.
Life is nothing what we want it to be like. But my parents have taught me to Thank God everyday for all that I have. Half the world doesn't have the luxuries that I have- Food, Parents and healthy body.


So today, I wish God spreads happiness and luxuries to those who need them the most.

Happy Diwali to all :)

May God bless you all with all the prosperity and happiness in the world :)

Monday, 20 October 2014

Everything That Is Not said.

Secrets cripples a relationship. I think everyone has stories that the world will never know. Everyone has stories that their husband/wife/sister/parents will never know. 

We all gradually take lessons and learn to keep some things to ourselves. The world is judgmental and unforgiving. Some things are better left unsaid.

But what about keeping other's secrets? I have been told innumerable times that I can handle secrets like no other. In fact, while I write this, I realize that I don't know anyone who I trust enough to keep my secrets. I don't blame them. Not everyone can handle secrets.. at least when it comes to others'. Most of the people I have come across aren't really good at keeping secrets.

Personally, I am a pot hole(in a good way). If you'll tell me a secret, you might mistakenly tell it to someone, but I won't. I will take it to my grave.
Sometimes I blame all those secrets for my belly fat. ;-)

I have gotten into serious fights with my best-friends who think I betrayed our friendship by not telling the secrets that we know.(we share everything that happens in our lives- everything). I tell them almost everything about me but other's secrets aren't mine to tell.

Occasionally, I get into serious problems for keeping secrets from my best-friends. I can tell them everything that's mine but if somebody trusts me with their secrets- I take it seriously. As long as the secret isn't saving a life, I wouldn't mention it.

My friends regularly tell me that I keep a lot of secrets. Well, yes I do. It's not because I have a problem with them knowing my secrets; I have a problem when that personal fact reaches the world. 

I wish I could find someone who can keep secrets like I can. It would be a utopia. Don't get me wrong, I hate having secrets in a relationship. I detest it from the bottom of my heart, but if the other person cant keep his lips joined, then they don't have the right to know secrets.

I have even been through situations when there are two people lying to each other right in front of me and I have to stay shut while they give each other white lies. It scares me but also makes me feel good about myself. 

Like, If I start to tell secrets that I know, at least 4-5 strong relationships (as they claim it to be) will break instantly.
But, why would I do that? Those friends whose secrets I have been keeping.. have not really kept my secrets. A few of them intentionally blurt out secrets. That's their idea of Revenge. I don't do that. I can't do that. Sometimes I wish I had the power to give them a dose of their own medicine - but I can't. Thank God for that.

I have also had friends who don't pause for a second before blurting out someone's personal illness after they fight with them. Seriously? Where's your integrity?

Secrets make relationships faulty but some secrets are better left unspoken. Or may be they can make a relationship stronger than it already is.


For now I am off to fill the pot hole :P

What do you think? Is it better to keep secrets in a relationship? A secret.. big enough to end it. 

Thursday, 25 September 2014

The fault in our stars- My view.

I know.. I know.. I am a horrifically late to review this book. This is not exactly a review but reading this book and not writing about it will be unfair. And all those fans out there - I know you cant imagine why would someone not read this book? I wish I had an explaination but this explains it better:- My thoughts are stars that I can't fathom into constellations.

Btw, I had pre-ordered it. Since then, it has been there in my closet. I dont know how to explain the amount of events that occurred since I bought this book.
Lets just keep it simple - I have been busy!
Anyway, so I have plenty of time now so I decided to give it a try- Especially after the movie release all I could see was quotes from the book.

The book mentions the "C" word right in the beginning. Nevertheless, I continued to read it. I loved the girl's name- Hazel. Has this certain ring to it. Hazel.

She meets Augustus at the support group. His stare and how he invited her at his place got me hooked.
The book starts off pretty well. I couldn't keep it down once I started reading it.
It has everything written meticulously. It feels like it's happening right in front of me. Hazel reading out poems for Augustus. How he announces his love for her in the flight. Beautiful!
The way they go to Amsterdam, how they kiss at Anne Frank's house - splurged the female hormones in me.

The book takes a turn, right after that. It goes on a roller coaster that only moves down. And it never really comes back to normal.

The story that was pure and beautiful like nothing that I had read before- had suddenly become this sad, morose lines which could make a happy person CRY!
Every page had a mention of Cancer. It sucked.

felt like I had found my own 'AIA' but unfortunately it is not a book that I would re read. It is beautiful but extremely depressing.
I am not one of those girls who you'd find crying in a movie hall or reading a Nicholas Sparks book.

But John Green made me cry.

I cried like crazy! It was embarrassing for me and I had to wash my face After every 10min, to hide my tears. My mother senses everything but fortunately she didn't find me crying. She gets worried at little things. Crying over a fiction novel- would have worried her. 

This book is not something that you could read while travelling- fellow passengers would think you've lost it!
It's not something you would read when you're delighted about something. 
Like, I was sort of happy before reading it. It is my second day at the gym(yes!! I have started working out! Yay!)

This book made me feel sick and I still can't get over the fact that Augustus died and the book ends with the eulogy that he had written for Hazel. I don't think it could have been more touchy than that.

The book basically ends with an email that was sent to Hazel with the eulogy.
Hazel doesn't reply to the email- which only means that she didn't live long enough to reply. 

Overall it is a beautiful book but equally depressing. 

Some lines are so deep and touching that you can't help but read them over and over. And repeat.

How did you like the book?  Do share :)

Monday, 22 September 2014

Bilawal Bhutto- This one's for you.

Dear Cutie pie(Hate using these words), 

You know as much as I would like to praise your looks, I can't get myself to do it. You must be cute to a few but your fan following is 10 times lesser than Rahul Gandhi. So, you know where you're heading to. Good looks won’t win you elections. 

See the similarity? 

I watched your video thrice- not because I admire your looks (I don’t!)- but because your voice is incomprehensible. I mean, my 12 year old cousin can speak better than that. You think shouting with all that fake enthusiasm when your voice is shaking like crazy- “lawenge lawenge Kashmir lawenge.” You thought India will be scared and it will create a storm? FYI, it created a storm – in a teacup.

Kashmir Kahan se lawenge bhaiya? Kidhar se? Jaago- Savera ho gaya hai!

I am assuming that you wanted to start off your career with remarks like those. Poor move- kid! It shows off your immature attitude. Jaao ghar jaao apne – khaana vaana khaao ! 
Junior Bhutto G! Namaste!

Look at your eyes- Sleep deprived. Hear your voice- Testosterone deprived.

Do you know that your voice didn't even reach Modi Ji's ears'. You will have to shout harder!

Acha chalo, don't feel so bad chotu.. Not everyone gets what they want. I want to be like Priyanka Chopra (pioneer in every field), KKR wants to be the PM, Malika Sherawat wants to marry Modi Ji, Rakhi Sawant wants to marry Ramdev Baba. Some things are unattainable.

You can't get everything you want, bache. I know that you like to have things that aren't yours and that belongs to others- like the one you had an affair with. She is a married woman, older than you and belongs to someone else. 
You don't get what isn't yours.

Now don't cry .. You've got the money, the power. Go have fun, live your life. And, try to find some achievable dreams. Your life has just started. 

And about Kashmir- Trust me, you will fly around in the Milky way for the rest of your life even if Modi ji will just whiff you. 'Ek phoonk' and you will vanish.

PS- India is a giving country. You are welcome here. You have two options-

  1. Come try your luck in Bollywood and who knows, you may even win some awards. Idiot Award, perhaps?
  2. I Read here that you have studied British History from Oxford? Try for a teaching job in Delhi University, may be? Alternatively, UGC has listed a few fake universities today- I'm sure, you will get a job there, at least! 

Because- Bhaiya... Kashmir toh nahi milega aapko.

You can thank me later to give you career options :P. Abhi save yourself from TOI. They might put the spotlight on you and crack butt jokes. That is trouble. 

Chalo run home now.

Saturday, 20 September 2014

Whose fault is it?

A friend of mine has been grounded forever. She wil never be able to go outside without her parents permission; which means Never.

No. I am not exaggerating.
What was her fault? You decide...

She and I have been friends since a few years now. It wouldn't be wrong is I say that she is one of most liveliest persons that one can ever know- full of energy- sometimes too much of it! She laughes in awkward situations. Is there a term for it? Because I have the problem too. I mean, I mind serious stuff amusing and hilarious. It has caused serious embarrassment to my parents :p Anyway, so she is one of those who you will never find upset. She will either be ecstatic or she will be furious. She doesn't do anything in the middle.

Last year she met this guy at her coaching (Hold your Horses! And read! It's not a love story!). He was the topper and she was the one who everyone knew about. They became friends and one day the guy proposed. She found that funny too Btw! 

I was the one who she comes up for advice. So I know the situation in and out.

Her parents are one of those strict type parents. She wants wings they want feet. 
And by strict, I don't mean - 'study and dont go out so much'
By strict I mean- Wake up. Eat. Study. Help mother or go to school. Study. Eat. Sleep. And Repeat. 

When our group of girls used to go out in school - movies, cafes, roam around etc-she stayed at home. School ended. She was never allowed to go for a movie with any of her friends (boys are nowhere in the picture btw)

Imagine a 17year old girl watching all sorts of movies with her Parents? No offence, but it is weird to sit in a movie hall with parents. God bless if it is a Bhatt film!

College was going to end and she still wasn't allowed to go out for movies. Occasionally she would be allowed to meet our gang provided there were no boys and that we picked and dropped her at her place. She had drivers and card but Perhaps her mother/brother wanted to meet the people who she was having coffee with. Too much, already?
Wait. There's more! 

Her brother who is two years older to her was allowed to go out, roam around with a deadline. The deadline was midnight.
*Thunderous clap for her parents please*

Okay, so this coaching was a new experience for her. She made a lot of friends but this guy was special. He was the topper at the coaching center smitten by my friend completely. 
He asked her out. My friend refused knowing what her family was like. He persisted to stay friends at least. She agreed. 

What do friends do? They don't got to  coaching and study and return.
Peer pressure finally got into her and she bunked her class to go out for a movie with two guys and another friend of hers.

It was the best day for her. She had never felt so happy and so free.
What do you expect from someone who had never gone out with friends? Never been in a movie hall with friends? She lived every bit of it.
She didn't stop. She couldn't.

But, it had to end one day. And it did. Her brother saw her in a car driving around with two guys and another girl. They assumed she was in a relationship with a guy.
She was hit. She was slapped. She was not sent to coaching ever again. She was     not allowed to talk to anyone for another 6 months. It was like she didn't exist.
She now goes to a college which is 20 metres away from her house; often gaurded by her sister or brother.

This incident happened almost two years ago. I got to meet her after 8 months after he incident.
To my surprise she still hasn't changed. She is still the same old friend who loves- or may be lives -to laugh, she hasn't lost her charm and her happiness. 
If you meet her you will ever know that she is going through so much. But I know. I have seen her cry. Its saddens me but what can I do to ? 

Her parents have refused to allow her to go for a job. They want her to complete her education and just get her married.

Marraige is the solution for a spoilt child. 

Some people swear by it. 
I dont know who should I blame here? Sometimes I feel guilty to not warn her and not tell her parents that she was bunking her classes. 

But why can't parents not understand the little fact that a kid needs to go out with friends too. They cant be just asked to sit inside a locked room and study and not make friends.

Would my friend ever bunk any class if she was allowed to go out with her school friends before?  NO. 

Why can't parents accept their fault for being so stuck and adamant? 
What her parents are doing to her will never be the solution. It only leads to frustration and anger and disrespect. 

I just hope that one day my friend gets to live a life that she wants to- Free of rules.

Ps- My parents are just amazing. I love them and respect them. They are one of the most understanding people and friends that I have. 

Do share what do you think? Who's fault is it? 

Tuesday, 16 September 2014

Deepika Padukone and TOI

So, India's leading newspaper - TOI got to witness a new low in its long lived life!
For those who are unaware of the story let me give a little background.
The ruckus began with TOI making headlines with an indecent picture of Deepika Padukone, which was taken from an angle, that can show cleavage out of a guy's chest. Top angle!

The published picture was wrong on so many levels- Firstly, the top angle was wrong. Even if there was nothing visible from the front, the picture made it look like she was showing off a lot of cleavage(which wasn't true)

Secondly, even if there was a picture like that- who gives them the right to make headlines out of it? Which woman doesn't have breasts or cleavage? 

Thirdly, if supposed 'leading' newspaper will show such impropriety, what should be expected from small aspiring journalists trying to find their way up. 

@deepikapadukone via her twitter handle blatantly bashed the newspaper for their irresponsible attitude.

She gathered unconditional and enormous support from her fans and Bollywood fraternity. Good to see everyone taking a stand for her.

TOI then came up with a stupid(for the lack of a better word) response in which they called the picture as a compliment. It not only gained public attention but was termed as one of the dumbest clarifications from a high end newspaper.

If that wasn't enough, today TOI has issued another article by Pooja Bedi who has bluntly called Deepika's reaction as Silly. She thinks the matter is not worth so much attention. Seriously? 
Bedi Ji - hats off to you! Aap bahut smart hain.

Honestly, I think TOI has lost its mind. A simple applogy could have ended the thing right there. But no, they decide to stretch it with meek responses like these. 

Personally, I think Deepika Padukone is right to voice her opinion. I know some people would think if it is a publicity stint, a perfectly timed move and a way to gain viewers for her movie 'Finding Fanny' and  'Happy new year' . 

Hello! She is at top of her game right now. She doesnt need to stoop down to such levels, in order to gain publicity.

Lets take it this way- 
She is at her best right now and doing blockbuster movies and this is a way to keep the limelight on her. In short it is a publicity stint.

Okay so what about this? -  Had she been a sinking boat or a 'almost forgotten' actress, this act of hers would have been called a publicity stunt even then. 

What do you expect? 

If she is at her best- she is doing it for publicity.
If she is a sinking boat- aha! Its for publicity. Ofcourse!! 

Long story short- An actress doesnt get the right to voice her opinion or catch limelight. She is an actress and anything she does or not, is for publicity. She doesn't have the right to speak and take a stand. Publicity is all she can do. 

I support you @DeepikaPadukone

Whats you take on this? 

Friday, 12 September 2014

When We Met

Was I really in love?
I am not quite sure.

Where did it all start... 

Remember the Orkut phase? The idea of having unread and huge number of scraps filled us with joy? It did to me as well, to an extent when i couldn't concentrate in school only to check my scraps. 

So we met through Orkut. Adding people randomly was quite normal back then. I wouldn't say that we hit it off right in the beginning in fact we both were  quite a show off in the beginning.We talked about school and studies(that's how general conversations begin I guess). We spoke for around two three months and then blame it on my pre boards or anything, we didn't talk. Things started to get strange and awkward and I started to avoid him, for no reason. We didn't talk for almost an year after that except for those little hi-hello-what you doing- nothing- type monosyllabic chats.
That year, I passed my boards with good marks while he started to prepare for entrance exams.

One fine day, I was out with my girl-friends having coffee when this quite good looking and well dressed guy-(Honestly, I found him normal. But all my friends went crazy)- walks in the cafe to meet his group of guy friends. Excitedly, we all brain-stormed if any one knew him(Yes, that's how girls react :P in high school) when another friend of ours entered the cafe and greeted that 'guy, before coming to us.
We drilled her for how she knew him and why didn't she ever mention him. It was a serious offence- not mentioning a good looking guy, after all :P

And it turns out that he was the same guy who I had been in touch with and had ignored bluntly on Orkut (Before, you try to judge if my eyesight is weak or anything, let me tell you that his profile picture was absolutely different than how he looked)

So a lot of things happened that day.
I was called a fool and an idiot, by my friends.
And, it was the day when we met .. When we saw each other for the first time - in person!

Will continue this story later. Going out of town today :)

Monday, 8 September 2014


People close to me would think what the heck do I know about love ? I have never been in a relationship neither do I socialize lot with guys.
But I do know what love is. Who says that it is necessary to experience it- to know it?
Having a boyfriend/ girlfriend doesn't mean you're in love. It doesn't certify you for being in love

I have a huge group of girlfriends. Almost every one of them has a boyfriend or has been in a relationship in the past. Unfortunately, none of them have been in love. I have the right to say that because probably I am the best adviser in my group and I know what everybody has been through. I know what it takes to have a good or a bad relationship. Being single comes with its own perks. Like, you don't have to 'make' time, you have it. You don't have to keep checking where your phone is, you don't need to keep updating where you are, where you will be, where you have been! Phew, sometimes, I feel how do people manage so much. 

Well, yeah I believe in Love.. soul mate and everything, I know that's called 'old- school' now. I am a hopeless lover. Big time.
Love in today's world doesn't exist. I have never come across a single true lover till date, so I can say that. They may exist but not in my world. My only wish about love would be I get a man who can love me the way I do. Just that much. I'd be a happy soul.

I believe in everything that's related to love. I am in love with the idea of love. Some say its hard to cope up with. Some say the result is always negative. Some say you cannot love a person forever. Really ? I think you can. Love is suppose to be eternal, right?
Some even say that you fall out of love, gradually. I don't believe it. Actually, I think it's utter rubbish. You can't fall out of love. If you do, you never really were in love.

Some of you might disagree here. You might think love is momentary and love doesn't last forever. My answer would be-  Love is not a 3-4 month course, it's not something you enroll yourself for and after a period of time you leave. It's not a medicine that comes with an expiry date. It's not a cloth that you enjoy wearing initially and lose interest later. It's not a tv show you don't want to continue watching because the plot just turned boring? It's none of the above.
It is a long lived affair where you can agree-disagree; fight-love; stay apart but never forget kind of a thing. It is that one person who you can never get bored with, that one person who believes in you even when you look tawdry, that one person who you can go back to after a thunderous fight an hour ago.

The bottom line is one cannot fall out of love.

Once in love, forever in love.

Let me state an example, when you're away from your parents, do you fall out of love with them? No you don't. 
Once you're away from your siblings, do you start to hate them? No, you don't.
So, how the hell can you fall out of love with a man/woman?
It only signifies one thing- you never ever loved that person irrevocably and unconditionally. 

The truth is that we like to believe that we're in love, but in actually we're not. We like to believe that he/she is the love of our life and will not change as a person and now grow and not  and is going to stay forever with us but when that doesn't happen in 21st century. And we call it 'falling out of love' . 

I am not stating that one cannot fall in love twice. Yes, that's possible. I know that ..because I will. 
Even if you say - you can fall in love with two different people at the same time. I would buy that too. 

But if you tell me that you have fallen out of love with a person and now you love the other one. I am sorry, that's impossible. There's no 'other one'. I don't buy stories about how one starts to hate their ex and they can't bear to see their 'ugly face(handsome/pretty before :|)' and then call it 'fallen out of love'. 
Sorry, What? 

If you believe that you love the second one and the first one can go to hell, then you never actually loved the first one

Your views will be appreciated. Thanks :)

Friday, 5 September 2014

Relationships and you.

It is unfortunate how relationships die without a clear reason. All relationshps are beautiful. Mother-child; friends; parents; love. It is important to keep hanging on. Especially in a fragile world like this, it is important to hold on to old friendships,relationships and family. With Facebook and other sites which claim to help u stay connected to your loved ones, it has now become impossible to keep the spark alive in a relationship. 
Agree or not, it is difficult to stay connected once someone moves into a new life and/or starts a new career. All the promises to stay connected go into the dustbin. With whatsapp fb handy, it becomes hard to manage the newly gained relationships and the old golden ones. I am not saying that it is impossible to stay in touch. I only mean that it is not that easy. Best friends are not our neighbours anymore.

Some people assert that with Whats app anybody can stay connected from any part of the globe. But, is it that easy? Not in my case, at least.

Who would take into account the time difference, the cultural difference that comes alive and the new friends and new life. All this may not be the sole reason to allow old relations to fade away but surely act as a catalyst. 
So how do we make sure to keep relationships alive? 

First and the most important thing is to Be clear with what you want
We scream, we get pissed, we blame and find reasons and excuses for our ignorance- but actually, we want to get rid of old friendships/relationships. It may not seem the right thing to do but it is better to let go instead of holding on to a hollow relationship. 

Be strong- It is alright to say no and have priorities changed. We should never feel guilty for growing up. It is alright to grow out of a relationships because it is who we are. What we like at the age of 5 may not necessarily match our choices at 16. All we need is a clear mind because right up there is all the 'locha'.(trouble)

Fight it out- Yes. I have seen this work a million times(okay! Less than that-you get the point :p) so, arguements and fighting are the front wheels in a relationship. If you don't argue with your friend/partner, the relationship is already dead. It's long gone. 

Make choices- Surely there will be times when we need to decide between the past and the present. What to choose then- it's up to you. 
For instance- you're getting ready for a party and you get a call from old friend after she/he had a break up. What do you do? Skip the party and console her cuz she has always been there for you- or- just move on with the party. She can be dealt with tomorrow. 

Difficult choices will come your way every day. What do you do in a situation like this? I personally would have skipped the party if it were for a close friend of mine. 

Keep the expectation bar low- this is something that has been said time and again. But I find it difficult to gulp down. I mean, if I am there for one person day and night, why shouldn't I expect the same in return? It has happened to me quite a few times which Leads me to think that I expect too much from people. I do understand all the glory behind being busy but 'time' is the same for everyone. I skip and I ignore a few things when it comes to being there for my friends. So yes, call me unreasonable but I have the right to expect.
Oops what were we talking about? 
Keep expectations low. It will help surely. Well, I? I am working on it. I am not perfect. No one is.

Forgive: this is the most important part to keep a relationship strong. In fact if you have the power to forgive, you can carry a relationship single handedly. It is sometimes absolutely impossible to forgive and forget, but remember- no relationship is perfect. Relationship has to be carried forward with maturity and most of the times you have to be the bigger person and forgive. For me - Work in progress :P 

Tuesday, 2 September 2014

Repercussions of being a single child.

My friend was blabbering about how sick she was of her older brother being so protective and insecure for her. I told her it can't be too bad.
"What do you know?"

She was right. how would I know having a protective hand over me, having someone to pour my heart to in the night, having a mediator to convey all my stories to my parents, to take care of. I am an only child after all.
Thought of sharing some repercussions of being a single child. It's difficult being one. Trust me.

Rakhi doesnt mean anything to you- Rakhi was celebrated with all bells and drums a few days back. But how much did it mean to me? None. I didn't feel the same love and affection as my friends did. Rakhi is just like another holiday for me when i can sit and chill ! Of course i have cousins who i meet on rakhi and tie a knot. You can judge me all you want but i miss having a real brother.  Some of my girlfriends with over protective brothers tell me how lucky I am, but they will never realize the pain of not having a 'no-matter-what'  protective hand over oneself.They don't realize how lonely it is sometimes to not have a sibling or someone older to you. I miss the satisfaction you get when you bully your sibling and kick his ass for no reason; the warmth you receive from your elder sister/brother when you're low!

You cant handle being ignored- initially i thought i was a bitch who needed attention all the time. But thankfully, it isn't just me. I have observed a few single kids on the block and realised that all our lives we have been used to prioritisation, so much, that being ignored becomes a sin. I try not to gain attention but it becomes difficult for me, sometimes, to handle benign ignorance from my friends. I want to be a part of everything that is happening around me(obviously, only what concerns me). I can't handle being brushed over. It's with almost every 'only' child I have come across.

You should be heard first- Being a single child, all my wishes have been fulfilled. All my tantrums, all my affairs have been treated like a queen's wishes. This has made me impatient and theatrical(some say so). I get upset when I am refused something. As a child, as my mother tells me, I was a difficult child to handle. If I put  my eyes on something, i wanted it. But thankfully, I grew out of it. Fortunately, I had quite a lot of cousins so even after being an only child to my parents, I was not a single child to my family and sharing and caring for siblings came in me gradually.

You want to be acknowledged: Well yeah. I crave hard, really hard, for acknowledgement. Don't take it as fishing for compliments. I don't want a 'thank you' gesture or a 'token of appreciation'. Having said that, it pisses me off to another level if I am not acknowledged for what I did. Like if I help you to get a ticket. And incase someone rants about difficulty in getting a ticket, I expect you to mention me here. I'm not sure if it's right or wrong? Because, hey one always deserves acknowledgement. I mean, if you even tried to help me( it may or may not have helped me) you would always find me mentioning your name. To an extent that people tell me to stop thanking them for something trivial. 'People who feel appreciated will always try to do better for you. Always'

You want to know things before anyone else: Being a single child, anything that happens anywhere in the world, to anybody in the universe, your parents share it with you- first. You're one of the(read: only) important pillars of the family so yes end up being asked for opinions, for advice and you're the only one to know anything remote that happens in the near distant family. So among your friends, you end up being sad if you're not put first. When it comes to me, it saddens me to know something late. I feel dejected if I am told something on the second, and not first! 

You're lonely sometimes: True. Because you don't have anybody close to share your thoughts with. Your friends are either working or busy or fighting with their brother/sisters. So yes even if you have a best-friend who would sacrifice his life for you, who is there for you always, there comes a time when you're out there..all alone. I find myself in this situation quite often. I feel scared and lonely and alone to wait for replies from friends, to get a call back from friends. But, it happens. It happens to all of us at some point in time. The positive is that I get a lot of time to introspect and to know myself better. Also i have realised that I am emotionally stronger than my friends. I can deal with emotions better and don't lose control so often. It is because Quite often I end up dealing with my own emotions alone. I don't want to, but I have to.

You're always there for your friends.: You know how it feels to be lonely and have no one around plus you have that tad bit of better experience dealing with emotions better so you try to be available for your friends all the time. I think, it is because we consider our friends our near family.

I consider my friends as my family and try to build relationships with them. It doesn't work all the time, though. Single child's also are more attached to their parents than other kids, I think. to be frank, I don't know if it's with me or other people too, but I feel, a certain sense of responsibility(too much of it) for my parents. I feel like there's no way that I can fail them. Everything I do, makes me wonder if my parents will be happy about it? The mere idea of betraying or leaving them makes me sick in the stomach. I am not sure, though, if it's just me or everyone?

What do you think?

Thursday, 28 August 2014

Story of a beautician.

Its a story that somewhere made me feel better about myself and the kind of life I have. I thank God for everything that I am today. Everyone should.
 Thought it would be good to share with you all.. 

 I was out for my regular hair treatment, at a salon. Akansha, who is my regular and favorite worker greeted me like she always does 'ssup ma'am?' (She greets like that:p)
Midway through my treatment, after asking my whereabouts, she started to tell me how life is unfair and a surprise package.

"I have a huge ancestral house which is like old cottages and my maternal side is very rich"

Uninterested in the beginning I replied with a 'hmmmmm' looking at my phone.
She is a bit too chatty(to put it mildly) so she continued without bothering if I was listening -"we never know whats in store for us... We have a huge house in my village and when my husband came for marriage, we were told that he owned a tv shop. Girls in our village used to get married by 20 so without any background check, my parents got me married to him. He was a good catch afterall- tv shop and all"
I smiled at her.

Without hesitation she continued -"He did work at a tv shop- but as a mechanic"

Taking a deep breath, which indicated her disappointment, she continued to massage my scalp. I felt a little sad for her and mentally cursed her husband and his family for lying. It's astonishing how marriages are built on lies. How decieving can people be.

"My father had given me a motorcycle when I got married." 

As I started to wonder that why did she stress Mortorcycle she continued -"In those times, a motorcycle was considered huge. It wasn't like how it is today. It was a luxury item" she answered my query.

"I don't regret it" - she continued to talk, as if reassuring herself. 

"We love each other and we are what you call - 'a happy couple'. Our life has turned out happy and with god's blessings, we have now bought a residential plot and a house. It is quite good."

'Great' I said.

"Yeah, we have two kids who are study well and we just hope that they acheive all that they wish for and fulfill our dreams." She mildly smiled.

"I  wanted to become a IPS officer" she said excitedly. 

I was hooked now. I have this reverence for such government posts like IAS/IPS/IRS. I was amazed to see the kind of happiness she exuded by telling me her dream. 
I was curious enough to ask -"Did you try for the exam?"

"No. I couldn't. I got married at 20. Had a child by 22. I wanted to, but I couldn't. I want my daughter to fulfill my dream now. She is quite intelligent you know."

I got a phone call which paused her only for a few minutes. She then continued 
"It's great how life changes. How things never turn out the way we plan them to be, how luck plays a pivotal role in out lives. We never get more than God's will."

'' yeah...true" - I said thinking about myself here. I am also in a similar situation where my luck is taking me somewhere I had never imagined to be. 

"All we can do is to work hard and pray. Our marriage is strong and We are both very happy that we found each other. We own a house and if God will allow then we will buy a new car soon" she gleamed.

Isn't it just amazing how our life changes direction; how it never turns out as per our imagination(mostly). 

Do questions like- "where do you see yourself after 5 years?" Matter? 

We can only work and put it out to the universe to arrange stars as it wills an let life happen.
Hard work can never be brushed off but  I personally believe that hard work can take us to that 99.99 percentile. It can only do so much.
That 'point zero one' depends on our stars and luck. And it is the most important part, truely. 

'Thanks' I said and left the parlour with my ocean of thoughts and emotions.

Life is anything but ideal.

Life. Happens. 

My Idea Of LOVE

Love… *sigh*

I am one of those ‘single’ friends who would give solicited/un advice to ‘committed’ people. Whenever a friend of mine faces any guy problem or relationship issues, I am the one to ring up! I am their advicer/counsellor and their confidant. So much of responsibility na? Phew! 
I have sometimes faced very tricky situations like - keeping secrets of two people who talk about each other. I know what they two feel about each other, but my duty is to keep my lips joined. Hard task, sometimes!

Coming back to My love.. 
For some reason, I have been single forever. I had a few guy friends (well, I like to say that) but to be honest, I have never shared a ‘good friendship’ with guys?
It has taken a toll on my confidence level, to some extent. I feel my expectations from guys are too high. None of the guys I have met have been able to suffice.I don't know who should I blame- Me or others?

Or may be I am not good enough for any of them! Either way, I have been single and probably am going to stay like this till I get married (lucky husband :P…. he will get all my pent up love).

Love, as they say, is a beautiful feeling, a beautiful world to live in. I try not to let it go into my head but fail miserably. People who know me would never say that I'm 'romantic or a girly girl' (I hide that part of mine skillfully), but I do get lonely at times. I too want to be crazy in love, to have someone to pour my heart out to, without being judged. To just hang out with someone, to hold someone's hand publicly. To.. Okay enough of it :P 

Let me share my idea of love today.. Do tell me if you find them unrealistic ? 
My idea of love is to find - 

         Someone who loves Chai more than coffee
         Someone who can talk till 4AM and still not get bored
        Someone who would never hurt someone’s feelings' intentionally(even if he has to suffer)
         Someone who can understand my  concept of ‘tough love’ (I am a pro)
         Someone who loves food- street food to 5stars!
         Someone who loves romantic songs- especially those sung by KK
          Someone who can give me his time as a gift and not his money
          Someone who accepts me inside out and never ask me to change
         Someone who can watch TV day and night
         Someone who loves to watch “Masterchef” (I'm an addict)
    Someone who puts me first. The world can wait.
    Someone who can understand my mood swings well (I don't have them, generally)
    Someone who would never lie to me(even if it will break me down) -I hate having secrets in a relationship.
     Someone who can complete my sentences (sometimes at least!)
    Someone who knows my dark side and still wants to be with me.
          Someone who can make me smile in bad times.
    Someone who would not give up on me- Because I would never do that.

           Too much to ask for? 


Wednesday, 27 August 2014

Yar Tera Superstar.. Desi Kalakaar

Let Honey Singh SING

So, I switched on the TV today morning, and the first thing I see playing on 9xm is - Desi kalakaar by Yo Yo honey Singh. For some reason, I didn't change the channel. May be I was still sleepy, I don't know.

I am not ashamed or embarrassed to admit that I enjoyed the track and the music. I watched it over YouTube, trying to find any fault or misogyny in the song- I didn't. In fact, I enjoyed the song and just put it on download.

This led me to thinking that how critical and how presumptuous can I be. It is unbelievable that I listened to his song twice(or may be more) only to find faults? Then I asked my friends if they liked the song and it didn't surprise me to hear words like- 'Yuk'; 'you think?'; 'What's wrong with you, hahaha
Surprisingly (or not so!) I then, found the regular bashing on my FB home page. What can I say more? 

After this day, I, at least would never talk ill(just for the sake of it) about Honey Singh. I mean, what exactly is he doing wrong? He is singing his own songs, raps well enough to get Amitabh Bachhan grooving, worked really hard to get there, has gone through a lot of rejections/hatred but still going strong, publicly accepts his rawness and dreams of winning a Grammy. What more can he do? He is in fact, an inspiration to those who change horses midstream only because they can't handle hatred.

His perseverance and confidence is what need to learn from. His goals are big, big enough to take Indian Music to international level. He isn't deterred or bothered by our outrageous and mean comments. Sure, he gets to our nerves with songs like isse kehte hain rockstar rockstar, but hey! What's wrong about it?
Can't we accept the fact that a small town boy who also has a degree from Trinity College, England(YES!! He does) can blow his own horns? 

People who talk about his misogynous comments and lyrics, I only have one, but very strong point to make here. 
Who does his remarks affect? No one. It is absolutely up to us if we want to hear his songs OR not. He is n where involved in how our life revolves or what rules do we follow. He's just a rapper/singer/music director/music composer slash the new hot thing in India.(this is for those who say- Who's he?)

Coming back to the point- Our policy makers go out and pass obnoxious comments about girls and their 'not-so-Indian' dressing style, and that is okay according to us? They are our law makers. What they say, what they do and most importantly- 'What they think' is of paramount importance to us! We cannot steer clear of their shallow mindset and ignore them because some way or the other those thoughts will trickle down to us in form of laws or rules. They are the one who need to be tamed and thrown out of India. 

Secondly, if his songs hurt so much, why is he so popular in India? Who listens to his songs? Not the ones who hate his music, I'm sure? 
Had there been even half UP janta hating his song, he would never have been a hit. Not even close. 

Honey Singh is not the one to blame. He is not the one responsible for rapes, for child abuse, for domestic violence in India. He is just an entertainer. If you don't like - blue eyes- Dont watch it. If you like it.. watch it, love it and sing it. YOUR choice.

So, let's just stop pretending that we hate Honey Singh and his rustic image. I liked the music of his new song and his image too. No comments about Sona, though. ( I don't dislike her but there's something wrong about her in this song. Can't put my finger on it)

Did I say that I didn't know why I continued to watch 9xm and not just change the channel instantly?
Well, I didn't, because I wanted to hear Honey Singh's song- because I have always liked his Songs - There I said it :D

Here's the link ! Enjoy

Hoping to hear your views :)